Kill them all and eat them all

Kill them all and eat them all


A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free.
Nikos Kazantzakis






there is this urge to destroy something
to smash this normal world into bits
shocking them out of their slumber
pushing them over the edge
watching them fall
watching my shadow fall
it jumps over the edge
and floats peacefully down
unscathed
blanking out with the gun in my hand
I can remember a distant sound
like far off thunder
it was ringing in my ears
tossing it all away
dancing along with no meaning
there is never a time when the words could mean more
you thought it might be possible
but, that is the futility of hope
everything dies
even your hopes
in a flash
in an instant
it all goes up in smoke
driving your chevelle over the cliff
with a bullet riddled body in the trunk
pushing myself to the furthest edge of awareness
it all becomes so very clear
in that moment of death
running into the friction
things disappearing
flags that appear to be moving
what I thought about the situation was never considered
everything that happened, did so almost on its own
I followed after my impulses
without questioning their source
they pulled me along
and I provided no resistance
I allowed them to flow through me
freely
it was as if I did not exist
as if I had never been born
the question of why, never existed
I never was
I was invisible
without a body
they could see you
but not me
I was not there
I watched them speaking
they were beautiful
so very beautiful
I never saw such beautiful creatures ever before
they were goddesses that came down from heaven
I watched their lips move
not understanding their words
there words were not for me
they were only for you
that is when the shadow crept over me
when evil entered into my heart
it was then that I realized that the gods could not see me
that this world of faith and belief did not apply to me
I was exempt from believing
I don't know if it was something I was born with
sort of like a destiny
or did it specificallt happen at that moment
that the spark of rebellion grew inside me
specificaly on that day
what if I had never been there?
what if I did have that experience?
would it have happened someother way?
or would I have been just like all the others
never seeing the ignorance that we wade in?
but, I do see the ignorance
I do see the futility of your beliefs
there is no reason for us to go on
dancing with the irish catholic girl
her sweatpants say New York
she sticks her belly out
spin for me Kira
on your white gym socks
on your mother's kitchen floor
I like you better far away
for our first date, I took you to the landfill
in the future their will be only urinals
miles and miles of urinals
one connected to another
my irish catholic girl want to know why
questions about why were never covered in the introductory course
the first thing I ate was her peach
she could always be liek a slice of strawberry pie
at least in my mind
in my memory
a blue table
a blue lamp
all the pieces that don't add up
this room is you
I made it for you
to be your home away from home
I made it for you before the beginning of time
it was preordained by me
I made it so
I made all things possible
all you had to do was believe in me
and you do
don't you?
you can't help yourself but believe
embedded in your DNA
that belief spiral
it has wrapped iteself around your spine
everyone cries for you
everyone dies for you
I cannot be your shadow anymore
I have to live my own life now
the task is to find love or die
those are the words that I couldn't hear
the words of the goddesses