Clumsy Hands and Stupid Booty

Clumsy Hands and Stupid Booty


Every author, however modest, keeps a most outrageous vanity chained like a madman in the padded cell of his breast.
Logan P. Smith






my temples lie in ruins
I have slain all of the priests
we boiled their blood into pudding
I have driven their spirits into the ground
their heads impaled upon tall poles
their heads rattle against each other in a strong wind
let us pray for a strong wind
a strong and evil wind
they were unaware of the complexity of my nature
thinking they had identified my true self
they wanted to put me in chains
to hold me back
push me down into their hole
make me one of them
I closed my eyes
and the demon overtook me
we were tethered to each other
with a six foot leather strap
snorting blue buster chemicals up our noses
I'm thinking about fist fucking Rose
she always enjoyed a good fist fuck
it's the only reason she buys Crisco
Crisco and narcissism on her shopping list
wrapping her self importance in a brown paper bag
so she can walk on the street with it
living hand to mouth
shooting for the fucking moon
knowing that there will never be a payoff in the end
it's not what you did in the past
it's all about what's happening now
spraying poetry on street curbs
worrying about tomorrow
GO-go dreams with Iggy Pop sunglasses
when you walk towards me
I can feel the sex in your veins
where did you eat it baby?
that spell making kit?
was it from the cop down the corner?
I saw you buying it after nine
dressed like serpent
and walking that walk you do
when the wolf howls inside of you
when you do, you make all my wrongs right
I don't hate nobody
I loves me everyone
to death and beyond
you are always shifting and wavering
like a love that has been thrown against a wall
any wall and every wall
always running away from the hurt
and packing a punch
with a positive attraction
your full lips wavering
the slim lines of futility
I could tell that you had harbored a criminal before
you knew all the right ingredients
and each and every turn
still seeking for your lost self-confidence
a front is still a front
no matter how practiced and polished
I know what you did
that you somehow have changed
once again adapting to your environment
stepping into the shadows
and shedding your skin
you stole his body
and learned to reflect the light
you lived among them as an imposter
and they never knew
less than a pure idea
the form you take is really only illusion
the chaos seeps in under the door
comes in through the cracks in the window
everything is porous
we mix and blend with the other atoms in the room
you could be arrested for participating in the big conspiracy
you know the score
you knew it from the beginning
that life and death were at your fingertips
clawing away at your imperfection
your perfection wanting to swallow it all
make the arbitrary disappear
blind to your instinctual drives
like the chrome on my bumper
reflecting everyone who looks into you
I'm not your hero
never count on me being there
when you need me
I'm just here to apply the pressure
to turn up the heat
putting you back into your little box
keeping you safe from the dangerous creatures
they want to be here
so I let them count my thumbs
they know several thousand was to fail
I'm just trying to be myself in this plastic world
reeling from the myth that is you
like the gravel being crushed under the tire
the sound of the cosmic void
ringing in my ears
I can hear the end coming
I can feel it in my heart
it is slow and unrelenting
like a glacier moving a quarter of an inch at a time
some have an inkling or a premonition
of the coming attractions
either they don't want to believe
or are afraid to face the full frontal effect
maybe they prefer not to make a fuss
they know that they can't do a damn thing about it
not me, I'm happy playing the mean roles
if you want it given to you directly
then I'm your guy
I'm not going to sugar coat it for you
give you the straight shit
never pulling any punches
but, don't put your trust in me
don't think of me as a friend
that would be a fatal flaw
as soon as you turn your back
I will be on you
with a butcher knife
hacking you into little pieces
I don't stop until I'm covered in your blood
from head to toe
I like it that way
pure and simple
and honest
I have mixed your DNA with the DNa of a jackal
I have implanted you mind with false memories
obsession, oppression, overpopulation, and pornography
you are worried about paying the rent
incest, injustice, and gangland murders
afraid to look out your windows
or walk down your streets
ignorance, immigration, intolerance
you are surrounded by your fears
there is always some unknown evil out to get you
gambling, rape, and self-esteem
self-consciousness, self-image, self-harm
suicide, violence, war
this is not a chance happening
it is a chemical reaction
that happens millions times a day
you can look out your window and see it happening
this is not my imagination
this is not my hope
what I hope has nothing to do with it
I'm still sharing the demons in my life
giving you my image of the world
where all hopes have been dashed
everything is going ugly
crashing against the wall
its the universe sending you a message
we are doing voodoo
creating a carnival freak show
and you are the star attraction
my beautiful freakazoid
go ahead and burn your bridges
leave everyone behind
with a knife in their backs
no one is interested in your survival
they have had enough of your wishful thinking
no one is buying your sales pitch on utopia
there never will be a revolution
until you change your heart
until you strip your words of all the bullshit
stop trying to be our savior
we don't need a guru
we thought you were a friend
but all you are interested in is your next hit
your next score
trying to find another number
that will send you to heaven
you have used up all all resources
burning your existence non-stop
like a fallen angel with a grudge
you can only pass off your shit as diamonds only so long
before we discover the true relationship
I must have been slower than the rest
it took me longer to see
and I defended you against the lions
I said your heart maybe black but there is still some gold in it
damn, I was fucking wrong
there is no gold in you
only darkness
so I send you back to the abyss
to socialize with the devil
I didn't mean to hurt you
I was only meeting a need
sometimes I go beyond the boundaries
break free from the guards and terrorize the village
making a choice and chasing them away
with fire and brimstone
a prostitute with the seven deadly sins
you were impervious to my words
even though I dipped them in silver
and sprinkled them with holy water
your brain could not register the impact
as they tore into you
dissolving into undefined worlds
you were afraid of the infinite
naming all of your crimes
studying each and every morsel of you
I fall upon you
clawing at you
suffocated with love
you were another person to me
falling from the heights of your dream
I formed you out of nothing
my thumb is imprinted on your body
the bloodhounds could never find you
for you slipped into chaos
enduring the jungle and the moon
you want me to remove your loneliness
to flesh out the carnivore
I undress you nice and slow
the first thing I remove is your red sweater
then your skirt and your blouse
lastly your bra and panties
I used a couple of Christmas ties to tie you to the bed
then, we both surrendered to the flow of sensations
participants in the sensual show
you played your part and I played mine
it wasn't business and it wasn't acting
placing a bowl of truth on the hot embers
the real world became out of bounds
the plasticity of life is what we trade in
we barter and haggle over the fake
and when the real life comes rushing in though the doors
we take notice
we place a mark
upon our hearts
to remember the moment
to escape for a little while
from this made-up world
we were all caught up in wanting to say something to each other
but we never really said anything at all
there was no substance to it
we talked about stupid little things that mean nothing
we wanted our lives to be full of significance
there were so many unspoken words between us
we couldn't go beyond a specific level
it was a if something invisible was holding us back
stole the spark from your mother's heart
I knew she wasn't ready to believe
to step away from the artificial
her costs were more than skin deep
they went straight to the bone
to the source of her ultimate downfall
I can kill anything for need
it takes the right amount of pleasure
to fulfill any need
with the smell of death and digestion
the decay and burden of birth
teaching us to be vicious
it is simple lessons that we learn
when we are not looking
smashing into the rock of ages
and denying the meaning of thunder